Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Warning EXTREME RANT follows


Apparently because I put thought into my sartorial choice that gives people the right to say what ever the fuck they want about I wear. Unasked. Apparently today I look like Frankenstein. (Thanks work superior! Awesome really appreciate all the respect you show me)

Being thin doesn't give people the right to say whatever they want about you and what you eat
Being fat doesn't give people the right to say whatever they want about you and what you eat
Being tall doesn't give people the right to tease you about your height
Being short doesn't give people the right to tease you about your lack of height
Being curvy doesn't give people the right to speak about your breasts or butt
Being quiet doesn't give people the right to assume you are stuckup
Being talkative doesn't give people the right to call you annoying
Wearing heels doesn't give people the right to say "OH I'D NEVER WEAR THOSE" (who asked you?!)
Wearing flats doesn't give people the right to tell you it would look better with a heel
Someone professing their love doesn't give you the right to say how much you hate something. Didn't your mama raise you better than that. When asked please feel free to say it though.
Gaining weight doesn't give people the right to say you put on a few
Losing weight doesn't give you the right to say "You've lost weight it looks nice" as if it didn't before. losing weight doesn't = more beautiful
Not smiling doesn't give people the right to tell you to smile it isn't that bad. THIS IS THE FACE JESUS GAVE ME I am sorry it doesn't conform to your ideal of what a face should look like. Ever think I am perfect ecstatic and this is how I show it?

ARGH. I am not fucking Frankenstein nor does anything about me or what I am wearing resemble a horrible monster. I would never tell you that you have cankles. Show me the same damn respect. Caring about my clothes doesn't make me unbreakable. I do have feelings and you can hurt them.

I spent $125 on these shoes. You have single handedly ruined the experience of them. I am not able to dis attach myself from comments. I am trying to I am not that strong.

Think before you speak. Would I say this comment to your grandmother? Then SHUT THE HELL UP.
Don't even bother with a comment about constructive criticism and being open to it. I AM. I am talking about out and out rude unsolicited comments.

They were good enough for the Chanel runway.
They are good enough for me. So keep your fashion preferences to yourself.



Casey said...

I love the "would you say this to your grandmother". I actually think SAY that to my kids.
I just don't like meanness at all, it takes too much effort to make someone feel bad about themselves when making them feel good has a greater reward!

Twills said...


People are assholes. I've had my Jeffrey Campbell Litas in red for about a week, have worn them twice and already I've been called Frankenstein about five times. I feel you. You are beautiful, your shoes are hot, and the rest of the world can fuck off.

Melissa said...

This is your blog, so you go ahead and rant all you want!

I have to admit that I am guilty on occasion of speaking my opinion when it hasn't been asked.

This post is a great reminder to ALL of us to be respectful of everyone.

And for what it's worth...I really love that skirt and I still love those shoes! (See, again, my opinion wasn't sought but I gave it anyway - sometimes I can't stop!)

Constructive criticism aside, sometimes you just have to force yourself to say SCREW WHAT THEY SAY and try your freaking hardest to not let it affect you. You are the only person who can let yourself feel bad or defeated. Don't let anyone have that power over you.

You're fabulous. So are your shoes.

Dave77459 said...

Seriously, Frankenstein? Is that supposed to be funny, or even clever? Honestly, I don't understand the comment.

Why do people suck so much? Is it so hard to bite your tongue on the criticism, and loudly state your praise? Why do so many people feel like it elevates them when they knock someone down? Are people so tiny, really?

I'm not a confrontational person, but this sort of shit would make me so. "I look like Frankenstein? Thanks for making my day. You look like crap. Feel better?"

For the record, I think you look grand today. Really grand.

hillary said...

multiple people are saying to me today "onlyyou are the only one who has the power"

But you know what? Sometimes in life it all gets to overwhelming and quite frankly it isn't in your power anymore. I am dealing with a lot of stuff today and it was just one thing too many and it hurt and I didn't CHOOSE for it to hurt me it just did. Especially since I had predicted it was going to happen on Monday on twitter.

Now I do like comments and advice and constructive criticism all unsolicited. I just don't like rude people.

For example my MIL is very thin and people think because she is thin they have the right to yell at her "eat something" "do you ever eat" "oh your thin what do you have to worry about"

SHE HAS A FUCKING DISEASE that prevents her from putting on weight. Add to that she has diabetes and osteoporosis.

david said...

please don't let the unimportant ramblings of jealous idiots ruin your day (easier said than done, i know).
often people are mean because they are jealous or intimidated and they need to resort to mayhem and foolishness to make themselves feel better for a bit.

you look spectacular and apparently they are ugly on the inside as well.

david said...

dave makes me laugh...

"I look like Frankenstein? Thanks for making my day. You look like crap. Feel better?"

Janet said...

...stepping out of the dark recesses as I lurk around your blog (yes, I ACT like Frankenstien) to say, "You are awesome, Hillary! Keep it up! I love your clothes, shoes, make-up, nails, and your 'voice'."

3 years ago, after 10 years of being dangerously overweight, my husband lost over 60 pounds. Now co-workers dont want to eat lunch with him, and say 'skinny-people' things to him. REALLY??? Noone really knows what his journey has been, and they don't care either. They just see someone doing something different and want to tear it down because it illuminates their own fears, hangups and inadequecies. said...

I'm typically a blog lurker, but I had to come out of hiding to comment on this post.

I think they are fabulous and that YOU are fabulous, but who cares what I think? It only matters what YOU think.

People just don't think before they speak (it's like their brain filter is turned off).

Lauren said...

I love the shoes. You DO look like Frankenstein - if Frankenstein were really pretty and had hot shoes.

hillary said...

To my dave. MAYHEM AND FOOLISHNESS abounds.

Sal said...

DO NOT let anyone ruin those shoes for you, or make you feel crappy about your amazing sense of style. DO NOT! Behavior like that is inexcusable, but never let it keep you from expressing yourself and doing what you love. You love being stylish. It's who you are. PERIOD.

Also, can you report this to HR? I mean, shit, that is SO out of line.

SAMI. said...

BOO to all the insecure haters who are too afraid to express themselves in the way they dress!!

keep rocking those clogs, they're fabulous!!


Felicity said...

Hugs Hillary, and your post is really well said. People who criticize like that are insecure and miserable inside. Your shoes rock!

D'Et said...

Bah!! How VERY unthoughtful of that person to say that.

I think it's a good lesson. We all need to be more careful of those "off-the-cuff" comments. I once accidentally hurt a coworker's feelings pretty badly by saying something about her shoes. We were all asked to work an all-day event on our feet and were reminding each other to wear flats so we wouldn't die. She showed up in (gorgeous, I might add) 4 inch heels and I thoughtlessly said, "Oh no! Your feet! Did you forget to wear flats?" She was embarrassed and upset. I felt like shit when she confronted me. You can bet I am MUCH more careful now.

Wardrobe choices are such an individual expression. I know it really digs under your skin and bothers you. It would me, too. But try not to let it permanently sour your whole feeling on your awesome new shoes. I think you look great, as always.

<3 D'Et

Hillary said...

I really identified with this post. My peers pride themselves on their honesty, and my thought always is "since when does being honest also give you the right to lose all empathy and tact?"

Also, those clogs are absolutely gorgeous.

Heather said...

Great rant and from the comments it seems that you have some pretty awesome readers.

People have so much trouble keeping that sort of negativity to themselves... I never understand it.

Clare said...

Ah, well said. Seriously, some people need to know when to keep their mouths shut. But not me, cause I have to tell you that you look phenomenal, and I'm sad that that comment put a negative tinge on today, because otherwise this would be perfection.

Love you, Hillary!

hillary said...

Thank you so much everyone.
It was actually my big boss who said it to a coworker and I overheard them. I think they wanted me to hear because they thought they were funny.

I choose my battles so instead of saying anything then when I would of screamed I vented here. and if you don't know by now I am a blurter. I blurt and if I think someone listened (anyone) I usually move on right then.
This made me angry obviously but I am dealing with a lot right now today specifically so it really got to me.

Kelly said...

I hate that people in your life would hurt you like that for no fucking reason. Even more than THAT I hate that these people are so awful that you could CALL it ahead of time.

By the way, those shoes? Awesome.

Jess said...

It really burns me up how rude people are and how uncaring they are of other people's feelings. I would never say that to someone in a million years, and I'm a super opinionated person. If you ask me for my opinion, I'll give it to you, but you just don't SAY those kinds of things to people. And honestly, if I have an unfavorable opinion of something someone's wearing, unless it's someone who I know really wants my REAL opinion (ie shopping for dresses with my best friend and one of is NOT flattering) I will say something that is nice but not a compliment, if that makes sense. Like, if someone asks me if I think their new dress has a heinous print, I'll say something like, "I like the print OK, but what I LOVE is your makeup today. You look so great and fresh. Is that a new lipstick?" There is no need to be hurtful!! You can always find SOMETHING nice to say to someone, or don't say anything.

Ashley said...

I completely agree. Can I add a couple of questions to your list that just should NOT be asked, because people don't know the circumstances?

1. When are you two going to have a baby/start a family?

2. When are you two going to get married/make it official?

3. Oh my gosh - you got married so young/old!!

LPT said...

Amen, sistah! Wear what makes you happy and what makes you feel good.

Lorena said...

I feel your anger.
How awful.
Don't let anyone ruin your fabulous shoes experience.
Wear em all week.

Buffalo Girl said...

gee what wonderful professionalism from the "big boss". Then again, I think you work in academics where so many dress like pigs and act like asses.

Those shoes are awesome! Please wear them again and again and again. You look amazing in them and you totally rock that uber high heel they have.

meegiemoo said...

Another lurker unlurking to say I don't blame you for getting upset and ranty. Some people have no censor on their mouths and need a little bit of a shake. You've got more style in your little finger (with fabulous polish) then most people have in their whole closet.

FEH on them!

Cassykins said...

Hi, I love you. Seriously, though, I adore your style. I can relate to having superiors talk about you, though, as a couple of mine have made some comments about me and my weight and my tattoos (the tattoos which are ok by my highest ups)

whenlifehandsyouapear said...

Are you kidding me?! Those shoes absolutely rock!

I don't even know what I'd do or say if I overheard someone talk that way about me or another co-worker. I'm totally shocked that anyone on earth would! Sheesh! What is WRONG with some people?!!

rlutz said...

people suck!!
I must say that I just love your whole outfit...from head to toe. Those shoes rock!!

Sheila said...

People can just be so thoughtless - it's become commonplace (and even admired!) to speak your mind without regard for how what you say will affect a person's feelings.

I think you should declare "Clog Week" and wear them every freakin' day! They are amazing!

I am actually a little leery of clogs (I did them the first time around, back in oh, 1977 and again in 1981, yikes, I'm old!), and I'd really like to see you style them so that I can get used to the look and maybe try it again myself.

Hillary, you are such a fabulous person (I can tell you're fab in person, it just comes through). I hope you won't let this ruin your love for these amazing shoes. Stay strong! You are awesome!

hillary said...

Shelia. Me too! I have in excess of 10 pairs. (5? Wood) my mom and I have always been clog girls when they were in and out of style!

I have been a fan for a very long time and am glad they are now easier to find and less people tease me for them.
My prized pair were recently retired as they weren't repairable :( troentorps with steel toe!

Thank you so much everyone!

BrooklynShoeBabe said...

Okay, I like to think of myself as clever, but I didn't get the Frankenstein reference until way at the end. I didn't even realize they were talking about your shoes! Anywho...

1. Rant all you want, your blog.
2. Your clogs are cute and I wish I had the great sense of balance to wear heels that height.
3. And finally, fuck da haters.

La Historiadora de Moda said...

Hillary, I'm really sorry that you had occasion to go on this rant! People can be thoughtless. Often, they don't mean to be hurtful. It can be easy to open mouth and insert foot.

Your shoes and your skirt are freakin' amazing!

hillary said...

I am not even kidding when I say they are easy to walk in. They have a 2 inch platform so that takes two off the height and the big thick heel and foot base with no give make them so easy to walk in. But I will say wooden shoes do take getting used to. People assume shoes should flex. But once you wear wood everything else hurts! That's why I wore my steel toe wood clogs until they fell apart because my back loved them!

tmougo said...

Those shoes are hot and so are you! I love them. I can only wear platform types of shoes and bought some Kork-ease clogs. I love them and I am sure I will get shit for them @Ashley--you are so right!!! THose questions are inappropriate!!!

IrishRedRose said...

^^That is so cool!! I've always wondered how wooden clogs feel. See, I have never been able to wear clogs 'cause my feet are both very skinny and also entirely flat....I can't fill 'em out in any way and they go flying off through the air lol. SO, I love to see other people enjoying them and I think yours are AWESOME!

I also initially thought this was an internet troll issue--when I read that it was your frickin coworkers my jaw dropped. How completely reprehensible! That whole "capping/charging on people to make oneself seem all clever and cool" is a mode of behavior that has always always hurt and disgusted me. I've been in your shoes (;-)) so to speak and my reaction was just like yours, especially in that I knew it shouldn't bother me but of course I am human and it did. Heh, in this instance, I would've seriously considered removing one of said clogs and throwing it at their heads!!! gahhh.

I hope your feelings bounce back and you are able to go on enjoying your fun and marvelous shoes. To hell with the nasty, violent, torch-waving mob of evil villagers! (cuz you know in calling you Frankenstein they assigned themselves parts as well! Huh, bet they didn't think of THAT.)

Andrea said...

I cannot believe how unthinking some people can be. I dress 'outside of the box' (according to my workplace) and get ribbed on it but no-one has ever insulted me in that way. I think I would probably feel a little put off if they singled out an item of clothing too - but just ignore them because they are jealous and you look great - also I want your gorgeous clogs!

Little Miss Plump said...

I'm a bit late to comment on this post (blogger wouldn't let me yesterday), but when I first read it I couldn't believe how RUDE people could be!! And someone who is your boss as well. Beggars belief. But then I thought they must be jealous. Main reason people comment (or think) negatively about other people seem to be due to their own insecurities and being jealous. I bet they wish they were as stylish and awesome as you! I don't think I ever comment negatively on someones clothes or body etc, and I always try to tell people off when they do. It's not nice. But people seem to feel the need (and right) to make comments and judgments about other people, their looks, and their lifestyles too.

I think you should wear the awesome shoes every day this week! :)

tmougo said...

Oh and by the way, I got that zebra skirt from Target because I thought it looked so good on you. So tell your idiotic boss that there are people who do like your taste and that you have inspired others!!

Farmgirl said...

Good Lord as a Mom ~ Your mom that makes me want to kick their ass! How freaken RUDE~ Hurt my daughter~ boss or no boss I want to ~ Level them out~ Hillary is shy but her momma isn't and I'll plant that shoe comment where the sun don't shine~ Gurrrr.
PS Love you Doll Face~

curlyred said...

You are unique, fresh and have a terrific eye for fashion, shame on them for being rude and fashion-less (is that a word??) the clogs are fabulous, enjoy the hell out of them.

Lacey said...

I'm a little late to the rant, but good for you for venting! I love your fashion are way way way better dressed than, say, the girls at my workplace who wear old yucky gardening flip flops and yoga outfits and try to pass those off as "dress clothes" at work (I work at a law firm, by the way). I cringe at them everyday.

Rock the clogs with confidence! Clearly, the clogs must have made a grand statement if your boss felt compelled to make a comment.