Thursday, February 25, 2010

Words can't bring me down.

I took pictures in 3 lighting situations today. The discontinuity makes my eye twitch.

Dress Target
Sweater tights Ann Taylor Loft
Shoes Marc Jacobs
Star necklace gift
Coo-coo clock earring Gift
Sweater Kohls

Better view of sweater.
Picture 351

Sweater tights
Picture 361

Even better view of shoes
red marc jacobs bow heels

Button, makeup and earrings

Picture 356

My button says "I love my cat. My cat does not care." I got it before I had Waffle. Waffle loves me.
See proof!
Ruta tagged me

I loved hearing about your quirks yesterday. Now if you don't already read Bright Side Dweller
you totally should be. Yesterday she asked how do you flip the negative talk in your mind. I want to know this more.
What do you do when you are suffering from self doubt. Body, actions, job wise, heck LIFE wise?

OK this is REALLY weird but AS I AM IN THE MIDDLE TYPING THIS Beautiful by Christina Aguilera being sung by Evan Dando started singing in my ears. It was like a cosmic hug. I love when that stuff happens. My husband once read a philosopher said you are leading the path you are meant to lead when those things happen to you.

Don't forget to enter my giveaway for a flat iron!


EvaNadine said...

i actually have a separate blog that i use to record things i see/hear/experience that bring a smile to my face. maybe its just me, but i think its SO easy to see the negative things in life, and i tend to fall into the trap of complaining about things that annoy me or bother me.
the point of that blog is to be more conscious of the *positive* things. sometimes they are big things, but for the most part they are tiny things that catch my attention.
its sort of a mission to turn myself into a more positive person...

Sal said...

Still drooling over those shoes. And I adore your hair like that, lady!

My blog is my main outlet for ruminations about self-doubt. It helps me tons to talk about those issues there.

hillary said...

I have no problems focusing on the positive and appreciating it. I do it on here all the time. The self doubt is the part I need to work on.

Anonymous said...

I dunno...maybe I have an unhealthy ego but I feel like I'm pretty awesome most of the time so when I feel not so awesome....I just remind myself.....I'm awesome.

Something I've learned and think about a lot is that every woman I've ever met is insecure. When I meet women, like you, for example, who seem gorgeous and beautiful and get to know them and even they are insecure about something. We all are. In a weird way, that makes me feel better....I've never met anyone who is just all perfect all the time. No one is.

Oh, and "Video" by India.Arie is always an excellent pick me up for me.

And I almost bought those earings and I've been kicking myself ever since I DIDNT buy them. Ergh.

hillary said...

a person I thought I was a friend said I looked like I looked lumpy and poochy on twitter the other day and it just enraged me. Made me so angry. I AM A WOMAN I HAVE CURVES I don't have a flat stomach. To have that pointed out just made me mad then made me self conscious and I have had this obsession the past two days now about it.

Jane W. said...

Love, love, love the whole look: the red and gray, the plaid and knit, and the SHOES!

a person I thought I was a friend said I looked like I l

Well, that just sucks and was a very hostile act.

I have a "pooch," and somehow blogging has made me feel better about it--seeing photos of myself every day has helped with acceptance (less so of the a.m. puffy eyes).

Emily Kennedy said...

I adore Bright Side Dweller, and I like the answer I left on her page, but I have a bit more to add for you.

What do you do when you are suffering from self doubt. Body, actions, job wise, heck LIFE wise?

I love the lessons I learned from What Happy People Know by Baker and Stauth. One of the major takeaways is learning to be appreciative. It's similar of the Zen saying, Be Here Now. I rely on that mind state quite a bit when the nastiness in my head is getting too noisy.

Way fun outfit! I love the way you wear that gray dress with such non-corporate style.

hillary said...

That is just the thing I don't think being appreciative has anything to do with self doubt in my mind/life.
I am a VERY appreciative person. I am grateful and appreciative and that has nothing to do with when I doubt how I look in something or how I did on a project at work.

I can appreciate my amazing husband. I can appreciate my friends. I can appreciate someone gave me a seat on the T. I can appreciate cold water to drink. I can appreciate I employed but I still doubt if my dress fits or if I screwed up something I turned in at work.

alltumbledown said...

I think self-doubt can be productive, if channeled properly. If someone comments on my body (which is pretty hardcore Jewish-mother style curvealicious)- do I feel that way, too? Have I accepted my shape, or should I be more active in changing if I have not? A nasty comment from a boss can lead to insight, too, if you focus on content over style.

Chelsea said...

I just looooooooove love love those sassy shoes! Wow... they are lustworthy, fo real! And the sweater... I'm drooling it is so amazing. And Waffle is the cutest!

As for self-doubt... this is something I'm working on as well. And I suck at it... I get filled with anxiety that I'm not good enough, not trying hard enough, etc. I'm in this Emotional Brain Training course right now working with Laurel Mellin (her book, the Pathway, is supposed to be awwwesome) and one of the things we're learning about is identifying our own unreasonable expetctations of ourselves.

For example... I've spent a lot of time in my life feeling guilty about my dad because his life sucks. But my unreasonable expectation is that I can do something about it. I just can't. So if I start feeling badly for him and then turn it into feeling responsible or guilty, I can switch it up and realize it's out of my control and the only reasonable expectation of myself in this situation is to love him.

So, say you are doubting your performance on a work project, even though you've done your best. Your unreasonable expectation could be (I don't know cause I'm not you) that you should be perfect and do everything amazingly right off the bat. But if you think about it, that is unrealistic. You are human, you're going to make mistakes, and that is how you learn. So identifying the reasonable expectation that you are doing your best and that is good enough and nailing that into your brain can help you feel more sure of yourself.

Haha I just wrote a whole book for you! But I really recommend Laurel's method (it's called the Solution Method)... check it out!

P.S. I totally had a dream last night that we lived in the same city and played hooky from work together one day, only the dream ended with my boss being mad at me. You had a really cute house in my dream though! Haha, swear I'm not crrrrazy!

Chelsea said...

well crap, forgot to subscribe to comments... so hence this additional comment.

Erin said...

Random comment on outfit; that is the most scrumptious sweater cardigan I have ever seen. I feel saddened by the sheer fact that I have not seen it until now, yet gloriously delighted that I have. O cardi of confusion, if you were mine, the love I would show you...

hillary said...

Last year

david said...

love the shoes and the kitten - don't know which one more.
The entire outfit, actually, suits you well both in fit and style.
lovely ensemble for a rather humdrum new england day.

Kelly said...

Your sweater is adorable! And I always love those shoes. Drool.

Honestly I don't really have a lot of advice for the self-doubt part. Usually I wallow in it until it goes away. If it's body issues that's usually a fine course of action I think (as long as it's just "one of those days" and not actually brought on by a health change) but when it comes to deeper issues like myself, my job, my life...I don't think that's my best idea ever. Because I just push it away basically, instead of dealing with it.

Becky said...

Um your sweater is ah-mazing and makes you look like a beautiful present with the bow, which I am totally on board for.

hillary said...

Chelsea. Thanks for that. The thing is I am not even really having doubts about stuff right now. I mean I have one but it isn't a big deal. I just want to know coping mechanisms for when that evil monster comes up. Your post got me thinking.

Emily Kennedy said...

The book I mentioned addresses appreciation in a different way than you are currently using it in your response. If you get a chance, you might want to check it out. It's a fun read, because it's about happiness!

hillary said...

Maybe I am not being clear. I am happy. I am over the moon happy. I am talking about that 5 minutes in your day or week you doubt yourself.
It was more of a general question not a declaration on my life.

Lisa said...

I know exactly what you mean. 99% of the time I extremely happy and confident, but like everyone I have my moments.

When I get doubting or critical usually I just wallow in it, but then I read somewhere about someone who gave their negative thoughts a name, and whenever they had negative thoughts they would tell them to shut up. I decided to try it, and most of the time it works. I named my negative mindset Gretchen. Whenever I have one of those, "Wow, my hips look gigantic in this" moments I then try and respond in my head with, "Shut up Gretchen, you wished your hips looked like this." Then usually I laugh at my ridiculousness and feel better.

Kasmira said...

The sweater is de-gorgeous!

Bianca said...

Firstly, I love this outfit!! Its sooo pretty - just beautiful.

The tweet was rude, and just silly. Clearly, this person has never seen someone with lumps and bumps!! You are just gorgeous!

bethtrue said...

Gorgeous outfit today! love the sweater, love love the shoes! and your hair is cute; i'm going to try that with a side braid going into a ponytail. love how your "better view" of the shoes is on your photocopier (right?). thanks for sharing.

Clare said...

love that sweater, love the hair, LOVE those shoes!

In terms of what I feel when I'm feeling down, broken, not quite right...I seem to withdraw into myself when I feel that way. I'm not good at pulling myself out on my own. I feel so grateful that I have people like Joe in my life who can help. :)

Anonymous said...

I've started taking dance classes two times a week with a bunch of girls that have been dancing for hmm about ten years.. I've been dancing for one. So needless to say, it is easy for me to feel just a tad insecure there. Every single one of these girls (they're between the ages of 14-22) have almost not an ounce of fat on their tighs - and I am definitely bottom heavy with thighs and hips to go around.

So what do I do when we're dancing infront of those huge mirrors? Most of the time I can feel that my thoughs are heading in the wrong directon, being way too conscious of my body and the way I look. My latest strategy though, is to start thinking of my difference in a positive way - I have the big hips so there's room for more sway in them. In my mind, I can project this image of me being more of a sultry love godess than any of these tiny little girls can be. It works from time to time. ;)