Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Answers to the questions you didn't ask me.

I have seen Daddy Likey go through her stats and reply to things people are searching for when they look for her site. I have wanted to do it forever. Somethings people have googled and reached me is umm alarming at times.

Here are the things you wanted to know about in the past 30 days.

84397243982 version of the question "How to put in a bumpit"
Here is how!

do you remove paper backing on konad plate
Nope!

empire waist boobs don't fit
Why don't you try going up a size?

faux fur coat causes hives
Try taking an antihistamine like Benadryl and stop wearing the fake fur!

how does c.o. bigelow's hot buttered rum smell
Like hot buttered rum.

is iphone unhealthy?
Well I wouldn't eat it.

marc by marc jacobs dress ruined at dry cleaner
Sorry to hear that!

why did i not feel the explosion
ummm I dunno.

where can i get konad stencils
Wowsocool

what should i do today when it's cold out
Stay in and watch Veronica Mars on DVD.

turn31
Who told you I was 31? I am only 23. Ask my mom. Yup. I met my husband when I was 9. That's my story and I am sticking to it.

teriyaki sauce causing stomach aches
You could have a soy intolerance? I'd say stop eating it.

perfume smells like sunscreen
Beach by Bobbi Brown!

nymets stencils
You are in the wrong place. This is Red Sox country.

my chickens aren't hatching
Do you have them in an incubator? If you really want to know about this I can ask my dad. He raised chickens.

methyl cellulose in gluten free bread is giving me stomach gas
How very specific. How do you know that is what is doing it? Stop eating it and it won't give you gas.( There are at least 30 searches similar to this about thing giving you gas. I don't even talk about gas. I am a lady. Lady's poof.)

amazing grace smells like sunscreen
I don't agree but we are all entitled to our opinions.

baby drank perfume
Yup I totally did.

byhillarie.com
Thankfully my mom had the good sense to not spell it like that!

celiac loss of foot padding
I think you need to see a doctor for that.

hope you feel better in a sexy way
Hey now!

i need a introduction paragraph for my compare and contrast report on two
fashion designers

Get off the internet and get to writing! I am not going to write it for you. Oh wait I can.

Marc Jacobs is amazing and makes pretty dresses. Karl Lagerfeld is amazing and makes pretty dresses. Marc is nice. Karl is not nice. I can't afford either their clothes.

That work for you?

10 comments:

david said...

this post made me laugh so hard, i love it!!

david said...

oh, and the teryaki question could be a gluten thing (sorry)

hillary said...

Yeah but there are only so many times you can yell fire in a movie theater and expect people to listen.

Kelly said...

"hope you feel better in a sexy way "

HAHAHAHA what?

I never get fun searches. Just normal stuff. Although someone did visit me after googling "I am such a whore" which is interesting.

Kelly said...

HAHA I just looked at my analytics again because this made me curious, and someone found me after googling "boobs proficiscamur" - I hope I don't have as creepy of an admirer as that sounds.

Lisa said...

Ha ha!! This was great and totally made my day. I can't believe some of the things people google sometimes.

Erin said...

The hardest I've laughed all day! You are a trip, Hilary. I would take you out for coffee and cupcakes this instant if I could just listen to you answer questions like this.

Bianca said...

SO funny!! OMG.

Heather said...

I second Erin!! This is so funny.

hillary said...

thanks everyone! I thought I was pretty funny. I should dig around my stats because these are just past 3o days. For all time I got some really bizarre ones.