Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A personal irksome topic.

Denim dress and Belt Target
Shoes Marc Jacobs
Socks gift from China from My Crooked Hem
Stripe cami H&M
Cherry necklace Marc Jacobs Gift
Red glass earrings Aht fair Gift
Heidi earrings QVC Gift
Purse Gift from when I made lifetime at Weight Watchers (for second time) in 2007 B Makowsky
used this one
For makeup I did a grey green on lid and under it. Oyster pink in corners, bright pink blush (my face ate it in an hour) soft pink lipgloss. I did a couple drops of luster drops on my cheeks too.
Ok so right onto today's topic.

Why do people lie about their size/weight?! Ok so this is a hot topic is a lot of people. Let me start by saying. I do not care what size you are. I don't care if you are a 2 or a 14. I care if you LIE about it. I know people are insecure and ashamed so my point is why don't you NOT talk about it instead of fibbing when everyone knows you are. The reason I am bringing this up is I am seeing it a lot lately. People taking pictures of tags in clothes and posting it. Hell I can take a picture of a size 2 tag too, that doesn't mean my ass can squeeze into it. I don't know if these people are trying to fool themselves but GEESH why are you saying you are a 2 when you are clearly a 10? Say you are a 10! OR SAY NOTHING!

The first time I was really introduced to this was when my husband used to work for Ann Taylor. He came home one day and said to me "why do women lie about what size they are?" He was a sales person. His job was to get people sizes. They would ask for a 2, when they didn't fit 4, then 6, then 8 finally oh a 10. I mean if you are in between sizes thats ones thing but COME ON. He had one coworker who was my size, which at the time was a 12. She used to tell everyone "Hold all new items in a 4 for me" I was flabbergasted. Coming from college in Florida to the city this was something I was new to. I personally had never lied about my weight. Why should I you can clearly look at me and tell.

The thing I think most people are missing is MOST PEOPLE don't care what size you are. They like you for who you are and size is just a dumb number. And if you are honest with your friends you are more likely to get gifts in your size! ha!

Sorry this is just something so bothersome to me. I mean I by no means secure with myself so usually I don't bring the topic up. But if you ask I will tell you. I wear a size 8. No shame in a number. Because that is all it is, a number. It doesn't make me prettier nor does it make me ugly. It does not define me as a person. It just the number I use as a GENERAL guide in a store. Because sizing isn't universal. Its really a vague general guide and if different from each store.

Recently I was talking to my mom (hope you don't mind mom!) She was complaining about her weight. Her weight was 2 lbs less than what I weigh TWO. I said to her "Do you look at me and think I am fat?" She being the good mom she is said "Of course not I think you are thin" (thanks mom, that never gets old. never) So I told her we weighed the same and why was she complaining about her weight? And you know why? She was stuck on the number! She had it in her mind that this number = fat. Its just a number, it means nothing! I really think she came around before we hung up. Well that and I am right :)

GET OVER THE NUMBER LADIES. It doesn't define you. I don't love you more if you are a 4. (I know I know some people care but who wants to be friends with them anyways?)

In college I did this project where I made dresses from a 0 to a 14 and all the dresses were identical muslin and I asked people to guess sizes and what they thought was normal. People were all over the map. Hardly anyone got them right. I had mixed them up on the walls and people guessed wrong MOST the time. It was a great project and I kinda want to pull it out of storage and show it again.

This big rant was my way of asking you to please learn to accept what size you are and know it means nothing. And if you DO have an issue with it. Then just don't talk about it! Pretty simple really!


Becky said...

Hear hear! I used to be one of those people who was embarrassed about their weight/size-I never lied about it, I just never announced, "I'm a size 12 and I think that's HUGE!" (which btw, that's when I was most embarrassed about my size...and I would LOVE to be a size 12 again...someday. someday.) What REALLY bothered me when I worked in retail (Gap, 2 years) was when people insisted on getting a size that obviously didn't fit them because they "refused" to go up a size. Um, hello! You're paying lots of money for clothes that don't fit you! Ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

I've noticed that a lot of people our age do this, and I tend to see it more in people who were thinner when they were younger. It almost seems like people hit their late 20's/early 30's and have a hard time accepting the whole "you can't eat/drink/live like a 20 year old anymore thing". I know I had a hard time with it at first. My husband is struggling with it now. You go your whole adult life being able to stay up all night, eat Taco Bell four meals a day, drink your friends under the table and the POOF.....in a relatively short time all of the sudden you can't do those things. And I think it takes a while for some people to accept. And I think it takes some people longer than others.

I've put on a drastic amount of weight in the past four years so I think maybe I had an easier time of it. All of the sudden BAM I was fat. Where as most people have it happen gradually.

I think it's sadder when it's 40 and 50 year old women who are still in denial about it. THATS crazy to me.

On a side note: my MIL always buys me size small or medium clothes. I CLEARLY am not a small or medium. :P And yet she still does it. I think she's trying to be nice but it's like "Uhm, I'm fat. It's ok. I'm AWARE"

I also wanted to add that I found I was much happier once I just embraced the size I am.

Emily B. said...

Oh, you know I love you, but I love you even more for posting this. I weigh 215 lbs. I am absolutely not ashamed of that number, because I am the healthiest mentally, physically and emotionally that I have ever been. But whoa nelly do people get uptight about the 200 pound mark. Even my mum did a double take when I told her what I weigh. What is the difference between 199 and 200? Why do we want to make it into such a big deal? I'm not going to lie about it. It's just a number, just like my size (which is a 16-18, by the way). You rock Miss M.

Lorena said...

Great post Hillary, I really mean it.
Have a friend, went shopping for a dress to go to a wedding she said to the sales girl she was a size 10, but only the size 16 dresses fit her, did she think I was blind ?
A few years back I was shopping at a factory outlet.
I heard the sales girls saying how they had requested for sizes to be "adjusted" to one size down. Meaning that if I were a size 8, their size 8 would be a size 6, so people would feel thinner in their clothes. It's all in the head.
Sorry for the long post, but we cannot be labeled to a number, we are a lot more than that!
(BTW I am a size XXL in t shirts from China)

Bridgett said...

i get what you are saying but as a larger lady, i think it really depends. i am a size 22 and weigh over 200 lbs and i honestly do not think that most people realize i weigh that much. i have talked to friends and they thought i was a size 14 or weighed 180 lbs.

i have accepted what i weigh and buy clothes to fit and flatter me, but i still don't want to advertise, especially when numbers above 200 lbs can be judged so harshly.

hillary said...

bridgett I don't get what you mean it depends I guess. I don't think it is ever ok.
In your case that you mention it makes sense as I said to say nothing as opposed to lying about it. It is the lying that bothers me. I live my life trying to never lie. It is a really big deal to me actually.

and I have been "larger" (larger than what is the reason I quote) so I do get it, really I do. As you see in my description above the purse is from reaching my goal in Weight Watchers.

I think we should all adopt a policy that if we don't want to discuss it we turn the subject around

"I'd love to answer that but first tell me how make money you make"

"Wow that's really a personal matter better left between me and my doctor now don't ya think?"

Kelly said...

I totally agree with you. I've seen some bloggers do this and I don't know why - if you don't want to tell me how big you are that's *fine* I couldn't give less of a damn, but then don't make it a subject on your blog. Just say "This is my new dress" instead of "this is my new size 4 dress."

I'm not averse to talking about my size/weight but I guess I've never seen an occasion for it on my blog.

hillary said...

kelly. You know why? Its weird! Unless your saying it so potential stores will see it and send you stuff :P haaa.

Kelly said...

hahaha if that works I'll just post all my measurements and let the swag roll in! LOL

D'Rae said...

I too don't know why some poeple do this.

I am a size 14-18 depending on the clothing. I look much smaller than what I am. It shocks poeple when I tell them how much I weigh.

Ally said...

I weigh a good 20 lbs more than people (even my doctor) have guessed. I'd say I'm dense, but that'd sound bad!!

I'm between sizes right now (12 and 14) because I drank too much beer on my honeymoon but there's no shame in it, sisters!

There's one blog in particular (not gonna name names) and it drives me NUTS. "Oh this size 4 is too small but here I am in the 2 but I forgot to take a pic of the tag." My ass you're a 2. Be real about it.

Sal said...

Man, I have never seen anyone take a photo of a size tag and post it. That is downright weird. And I totally agree that if you're gonna talk size, be honest. If you're not comfortable talking size, just DON'T. Why lie?

hillary said...

Sal I was FLABBERGASTED when I saw it. She has a lot of readers too. It was all too weird to me but I couldn't look away.

Lorena said...

HMM... NOW you have me doing google searches...

Lisa said...

I'm with you on your rant! One thing I do want to point out is that your size can vary a lot by the store/brand. Not that it excuses blatant lying about your size, but I currently have clothes in a range of sizes, and when I compare them, they are exactly the same . . . huh?? I think the best tactic is to just avoid sharing that info in general. Who really cares anyway? I don't . . . anyways, I'm extremely envious of your shoes!

hillary said...

Lisa that is exactly what I was trying to stress its just a number that isn't standardized!

Aren't you near boston? Check out Marc Jacobs on newbury they have 70% off shoe sales when the new season comes in!

Lisa said...

Good to know, I will definitely check them out! I always thought I won't be able to afford anything from there, so I never go.

hillary said...

Oh you HAVE to go they have an entire section of accessories under 10 bucks!

hillary said...
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Lesa said...

Thanks for making me feel good. I was a thin girl all my life then I hit 40 and BAM I am a 14. Only problem, it is harder to find cute clothes, especially if your thrifting.

BTW LOVE the little Chinese socks, do you wear them with those shoes? How cute!

ShopKim said...

I completely agree that there is absolutely no reason to lie about it. Just don't mention it! Besides that, it's so subjective. You could be a size X in one store and three sizes bigger in another. WHO CARES!!

Peldyn said...

Wow, I too never heard of someone posting tags with sizes, but I believe you. There are enough women out there obsessed with being small and it is sad.

Meli22 said...

size doesn't matter, I agree. I WAS a 2/3 a few years ago, now I range from a 6 to an 8. I actually feel better about my body now than then. If I went into a store, I would start with my normal 6 and size up or down from there, but rarely do I need to.

WHY would anyone buy a size they don't fit? Some girls tell themselves 'I am going to lose weight' but most never do, or at least not in the areas they want to. It's sad really, that they reject themselves and their bodies because they believe that what they are isn't beautiful or that a number dictates how acceptable they are. I favor Stacy & Clinton's quote- dress for the body you have NOW, not the one you want to have.

Margaret said...

I was shopping at H&M recently and a group of young women were trying on clothes. The jeans didn't fit one of them and her friend said, "Oh try on the next size up" but the woman said "No, that's not my size". As a 50 year old who could care less what the tag says, I was so flabbergasted, could not understand the logic here. Her slightly older friend said, "oh I think they must run small here" in an attempt to move the process along....but no luck. Could she not hang such clothes in her closet because they had the wrong number? When "my size" doesn't fit me, I presume the store has some problem with standard sizing and I just keep going up and up and up UNTIL it fits or I leave....

Bridget Beaver said...

I totally hear what you're saying. I wish I could just go around and tell people my clothing sizes without having them act like I'm some kind of freak of nature or something. However, I live in Japan... and I'm just all around bigger than... well.. every woman I've ever met here. Seriously, I've never met a woman here who is as tall as me, with hips as wide as mine or with a bust as big as mine. I'm just a big girl! It's not like I'm overweight or anything, I'm just... big! Anyway, I frequently get asked my clothing size (by friends, coworkers, complete strangers... apparently it's not at all taboo to ask a foreigner their clothing size...) when Japanese women ask me what size I wear, it's mostly because they're curious, and so that they can go and blab about the fact that they met the big foreign girl to their girlfriends or husbands or whatever. I'm serious. People treat me like such an oddity that I absolutely refuse to be treated as such. Therefore, when I get asked this question, I usually have to explain that they probably would not understand American sizing, and I therefore cannot share the information with them.
Sigh. I wish I wish!

Mary said...
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Mary said...

I found your blog via Nubby and fiiiirst of all..... You look absolutely adorable. That dress fits you perfectly and the socks are such a nice touch!

But yea, as someone who rambles about body image a lot, this post really hit home with me. It's also awkward because I 4'9, I am a smaller size, and I feel like I have to worry when I complain about my weight or talk about exercising because my friends just go "Pftttt you're a size 2."

And that's what makes it funny. I'm not skinny. I mean I'm not overweight either, but I'm not skinny. I'm average. Sometimes I like myself, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm a 4. Sometimes I'm a 0. Sometimes I'm a 6. But everyone forgets that are 4'9, my proportions are different so in reality a 5'9 person in an 8 is much thinner than me.

It's funny that your weight doesn't matter anyways, but if you're going to make it an issue dress sizes are probably one of the worst ways to compare because everyone's so different!

psst: the one above was me, but there was an awkward typo.

hillary said...

Thank you everyone for stopping by!

Mary It doesn't matter. I admit I have my days (more than I like to admit) but in the grand scheme of things does it really matter? no it doesn't you are so right!

I am sorry to hear that. I KINDA (on a tiny scale) know what you mean. I worked with a bunch of japanese girls before and they often talked about this.

Don't you want to say "honey do yourself a favor ignore the size and go one or two up, sizes are funny here anyways!"

meli22 I don't know but I know someone who does it and I want to say NO PLEASE you are only hurting yourself!

peldyn I am too much a lady to link tp them and call them but but a little googling you might find some. ;)

shopkim here here!

lesa I am glad I could help anyone at any time!

Anonymous said...

I love it! Very creative!That's actually really cool.