Friday, September 11, 2009

Friday ooh nelly am I glad it is friday


Vest and tie blouse H&M
Denim trousers Gap
Shoes Clarks
Hat husband's from Target
Purse Coach
Coat Forever 21 from the Cirque line earlier in summer. Its lined in lime green hearts and I adore it.

For shoes I matched my shirt today instead of shoes as I was wearing a black coat and didn't want to be too somber on today already a somber day.

I just want to thank all the men and women who have served our country you are loved and appreciated by my husband and myself. Thank you.

A special thank you to Brandon (1 tour so far) and Brandon (3 tours) my baby cousins whom I love with all my heart. Both are in the air force.
patrick stewart you have been forever replaced. (think of it more as a slight demotion)
USED THIS ONE
used this oen
use this one
use this oneblack oxfords clarks
In a different vein I want to talk about friendships. As an adult it can be hard at times to figure out who your friends are. Digital age of computers and communication make is hard to know when you made that cross-over.
You can't just pass a note like when you were 8 that says
"Do you like me circle yes or no"
Conversely when you decide you don't want to be friend with someone do you just let yourself drift apart or do you do the selfish thing and air your grievances dump them? (I say selfish because if you are dumping them and aren't going to let them change something or fix it you are basically telling them to get in the last word right?)

In this digital age how do you know when someone is no longer an acquaintance and is a friend?

I have a hard time with this one. I say friend too freely I think and am shocked to learn others don't really feel the same way(regarding friends not me). I actually assume people don't see me as a friend until they physically say it, I can be too literal at times. I have one "digital" friend I met in the late 90's online and while we never met in person I love her and her family so much. I swell with pride when things happen for her. My husband and I talk about her like she is an old friend. She was there when I needed someone to listen and has provided life changing advice and support. But recently when talking about her to someone they were a little shocked I called someone I never met a friend
"But you have never seen them? Hung out with them?" and the real biting one "Oh is this one of your computer friends?"
Well no. But do you really need to see someone to know you love and care for them?
Do you really need to distinct between "real" friends and "online" friends?

I really wish Marshall Mcluhan was alive to have this debate with.

14 comments:

Sal said...

That coat is darling.

Blogging has introduced me to so many amazing women that I just adore ... and many of them I may never actually meet. I must admit that I refer to them as my "bloggy friends" because the connection is naturally different from in person, local friends. Or old in person friends. But the connections are still VERY valuable. Sparking friendships online is a great way to connect with people who have similar interests to you.

Kelly Sue said...

I met my husband and several of my very dearest friends on the internet.

So I ain't complaining.

Kimberly said...

Girl, you are rockin' this look today. The hat pose at the top is hawt!! Also, fantastic coat!!

Now for the great debate on internet friends. Honestly, I "talk" to my internet friends way more than local friends. Plus, unfortunately a lot of my very close friends from college and such live in other states not making it easy to get together for drinks and a chat fest. The local friends I have I do love, but many are married with young children and thus don't have the time to talk on the phone or get together. With my internet friends I have very similar interests - heck, that's how we "met" in the first place - plus we have the opportunity to have almost daily conversation. If I ever got the chance to meet any of them in person I would jump at it. To me they are just as much my "friends" as anyone.

You got that, Hillary, you are one of my girls even if you are hundreds of miles away!

chunkstyle said...

I don't have many only blogger friends, mostly they are hybrids of online and in-person. Not that it means anything. I have a dilemma now where I'm trying to end things with a real-life friend who is not at all good for me and I'm going to do the drift away I think (easier now too because classes are starting soon). Selfish? I guess, but part of the reason for the "breakup" is that her personality is such that any suggestions or talking or anything doesn't ever work in the friendship, she just turns mean and starts speaking badly about me like the worst high-school movie ever. So the only reason I've kept her close (besides the fact that I used to enjoy our conversations) is to prevent her from badmouthing me to mutual friends! NOT a good reason for a relationship and not a good person to be around. Fin. End. Easier said than done, because she is everywhere in my 'hood and knows EVERYONE. Gotta keep my head up and not be afraid of gossiping womenfolk I suppose. Sigh, funny that you brought this up Hillary...I've been giving a lot of thought as to who I surround myself with.
Also, great outfit.

hillary said...

annie not selfish at all! Making a big scene and telling her how bad she is for you and what you find wrong with her and leaving her is a bit selfish if you dont let her fix it. But if you let yourself naturally drift apart knowing that she is wrong for you and you distanced yourself that is classy.

chunkstyle said...

Thanks :) She is very interesting and smart and accomplished, but boy has she ever stung me like a Scorpio mannnny times. Thricely stung, Four times shy? Meh, something like that...
Also, TGIF!

hillary said...

oh and Annie this is why my bangs were all screwed up this morning! remember I said "you'll see why they are so messy" daves hat!

kimberly FEELING IS MUTUAL

Kelly Sue You are a absolute peach and I hope you don't mind me blogging about you. :)

Sal I notice I change my lingo by the company. I say friend in front of gram because she would NEVER understand I met people online!

C Lo said...

Well, I've learned to just not give a crap about what other people think of my online interactions. And, yes, I have a few online friends who I've never met but are, in fact, real friends. Although, most internet friends I connect with I have, over the years, gone out of my way to meet at least once.

Kelly said...

That first picture is so BA! I can't rock hats at all.

Friends is such a tricky thing. Like, when you start dating a guy and you've been on a couple dates with him but you don't want to slip and call him your "boyfriend" because you guys haven't actually established that he's your boyfriend yet - that's how I feel about friends. I'm afraid to call you a friend unless we've actually established that you're my friend (not you specifically, just people in general). I do have a tendency to say things like "my blogger friend" or "my yoga friend" or "my work friend" if that's the only way or reason I interact with that person. As if adding an adjective makes it less "scary" to call that person my friend. Maybe I would call someone my regular old "friend" if we had gone out and done something together - like, a girl might be my "yoga friend" but then if we meet for coffee or get a drink or go shopping, now she's my regular "friend."

But I am so bad at making friends. I had a ton of friends in school and I had a blast. Then I graduated and moved back home, and I only have a couple friends who live around here. I have no idea how to make friends in the real world.

chunkstyle said...

Do you guys think that women making friends with each other is especially challenging? I've made so many guy friends and I love to hang out with them, discuss things and keep it light, sweet, and funny.

Who knows...the mystery continues...

Thanks for this post.

Emily B. said...

You know what Miss M.? I think when I first started online I separated out online friends and "IRL" friends, but I don't do that anymore. You are as much a part of my life, as real a friend as anybody who is in front of me in flesh and blood. I think if you haven't been there, then it's really hard to understand. I know when my friend fell in love with her husband, sight unseen on the internet, we all thought she was nuts. But now I understand how it happens - it IS real. You probably know me as well as anyone.

And I still love that outfit on you so much. You are making me want to play more with the menswear. I bought another vest (on sale for 6.99, you would be so proud) to play with and everything.

Lorena said...

Love how you pulled this off and the hat :) !!

Well, I had a pen pal friend (yes, way before computers) for ages... we had been writing each other since high school.
We drifted apart because the moved and I cancelled my PO Box.
Then a year ago she found me through the internet.
I met her just last year, almost 20 years later... It was like I had known her my entire life. It was amazing, now we keep in touch.

anna said...

First off, love this look on you- and the hat and coat are spectacularly cute!

Basically, if you are on my google reader, I've made that transition. If I've sent real mail to your address (or vice versa), I've made that transition. If someone knows all my weirdness and quirks and family stuff, they are my friend! I have some really great internet besties, too!

hillary said...

Thanks so much everyone. I really like hearing what others think on the matter.