Tuesday, July 31, 2007

its not easy being green....

Originally uploaded by miss matilda
So yesterday when I stepped on the home scale it said I had lost 30 lbs. Now I should be happy but I am not. I was always a very small person, then a few years back I went on a rx that kind of ruined my metabolism. And people weren't nice. I had friends and family call me fat and poke me in the stomach and say should you eat that? At my biggest I wore a 12. That doesn't seem that large to me. But to everyone else it was. I had gotten ok with myself, then a so called friend called me fat and I joined WW the next day. I don't see any difference from me now and me on Oct 27 2006 when I joined. So I am not happy. I should be but I am not.

I know I shouldn't listen to others, but its hard. Especially when they are related. My mom can get a cold and drop 10 lbs in a day. I work my ass off for a measly .5 a week.

I am whiny I know. I can throw a pity party if I want! :P

people suck.

1 comment:

Dave said...

A few things...
1st. oh my lordy, you have never been "that big." even at your highest weight you were healthy and below what one could call average.
2nd. people, even people who are related and love you, can be mean. they don't always realize the harm their words can do and how it makes you feel. but their words are no reflection on your worth.
3rd. if someone calls you fat, they are not your friend.
4th. you are what you are. fat, thin, tall, short. embrace what/who you are and don't let the jealousy of another tell you otherwise.
5th. i thought we had the "size is nothing more than an arbitrary number that varies from company to company so what does that matter" conversation already.
6th. size is nothing more than an arbitrary number BUT what size have you been buying lately? what's that? an eight? huh.
7th. no pity parties without prior approval.
8th. i love you. regardless. (and that's not a "regardless of weight" that's an open ended regardless regardless.
9th. yes, people do suck. can't argue too much there.